


Plus One

by frankiesin



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Canon Compliant, Everyone Is Bisexual Because Why Not, For the most part, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, Other, Polyamory, fluff and a little bit of angst, sad dallon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-04-07 17:36:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14086101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frankiesin/pseuds/frankiesin
Summary: Dallon's in love with Spencer and Linda. There's one big problem: they're married. To each other.





	1. Dallon

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my name is Jeff and I create rarepairs for my own personal enjoyment. Welcome to Spallonda please enjoy.

Dallon met Linda for the first time at Brendon and Sarah's wedding. He was still getting used to the fact that, no, Brendon and Spencer were not a thing, and that they'd never been one. It didn't make sense. 

 

There was an attractive blonde woman, one of Sarah's bridesmaids, and Dallon kept thinking that she was really pretty. He didn't do anything because he knew it was tacky to try and get a date at someone else's wedding. That was too cliche. 

 

He didn't argue when he ended up sitting next to the blonde at the reception. Her name plate said  _ Linda _ , and Spencer was on the other side of her. 

 

“Hi,” Linda said, almost as soon as Dallon sat down. “You must be one of Brendon's friends. I don't think we've met before.”

 

“We haven't,” he said. “I'm Dallon, I'm Brendon's bassist.”

 

“Oh, nice,” she said, smiling. “Spencer's talked about you a lot. He thinks you're really talented!”

 

Dallon furrowed his eyebrows. “You know Spencer? I thought you were one of Sarah's friends.”

 

“I am, but she was the one who introduced me to Spencer,” Linda said. Spencer showed up then, as though summoned, and he looked as handsome as ever. He introduced Linda as his girlfriend, and mentioned that they were living together, and Dallon's heart sank. Of course the two people he was attracted to were dating each other. And if they were serious enough that they were living together, then they definitely weren't looking for anyone else. 

 

Dallon was friends with them anyway. Spencer was impossible to hate, and Linda was as intelligent and witty as she was gorgeous. They invited him over a lot, more so after Spencer left the band to get treatment and Brendon started taking over. 

 

It was stressful sometimes, because Dallon didn't want to leave Panic and his friends in LA, but he was tired of essentially being Brendon's lackey. He was his own musician, and he was good at what he did. Dallon just wanted recognition, that was all. 

 

He didn't complain, and then June of 2016 rolled around and Dallon considered quitting Panic and moving back to SLC for his own sanity. 

 

Spencer and Linda got married, Dallon attended, and it was a beautiful wedding. The only issue was that Dallon still liked both of them. He hadn't gone on an actual date in years, and Brendon didn't pay enough attention to notice and Spencer and Linda were too happy and in love to realise that Dallon was the second but not the first. But he went to the wedding and he celebrated with them because he wanted to be happy that they were happy with each other. 

 

Just each other. 

 

And then Brendon denoted Dallon, Dan, and Kenny to touring members and Dallom realised he couldn't stay in LA and live the way he wanted. 

 

He brought it up with Spencer and Linda because they were the only ones who really listened to him. Spencer suggested Dallon just move in with the two of them. 

 

Dallon shook his head. “What? No. No, I couldn't.”

 

“You're here all the time as it is,” Spencer said. “And we like having you around.”

 

“He means that he's lonely since I'm at work more,” Linda said. She'd gotten a promotion right around the time Dallon got demoted. He wasn't bitter. He'd actually been the one to start the trend of referring to Spencer as Linda's trophy husband, because now she was doing most of the financial leg work. They both loved it. 

 

Dallon raised his eyebrows. “Is one trophy husband not enough for you?”

 

“You're not our husband yet,” Linda said. “Don't get ahead of yourself.”

 

Dallon choked on air, and agreed to move in with them just so that they could get away from that conversation point. It turned out to be a good idea, because Spencer started working with Pete a month or so later, and then Pete mentioned that Ryan Seaman was thinking about leaving his band behind, and Dallon asked if he could get Ryan's number. 

 

Spencer didn't look too happy about that. “Do you know him?”

 

“He was in the Brobecks with me at one point,” Dallon said. He and Ryan had gotten along well, but they'd both ended up in different genres and hadn't hung out in years. “I'm just trying to reconnect with him. It's nothing that'll destroy Pete's record stuff. Don't worry.”

 

“So you two never…” Spencer trailed off. 

 

Dallon shook his head. “No. Ryan's straight. Like, actually straight, not Brendon straight.”

 

“Huh.” Spencer said. And then he went back to his food and that was the last they spoke about Dallon's history with Ryan. 

 

Spencer texted Ryan's number to Dallon a few days later, while he was packing up to tour with Panic again. Dallon added Ryan into his phone and then forgot to actually text him until they were halfway through tour. When he did, Ryan texted back, and things went from there. He was an easy guy to converse with, and Dallon remembered wishing that Ryan had been into guys because he would have made a good boyfriend. That wasn't a thing anymore. Dallon wasn't into Ryan, he was into Spencer and Linda and they were married to each other. 

 

Ryan suggested a band, and Dallon argued that it would have to be a side project because he couldn't leave Panic, and Ryan agreed to that. They threw around names for a couple of bus nights, and then settled on I Don't Know How But They Found Me. It was long, and Dallon worried that people would hate it, so he and Ryan decided to keep the project a secret until they had a plan for it. 

 

Dallon knew he should’ve told Brendon about it, because Brendon was kind of his boss and he needed to know where Dallon was and what he was doing. And then, the music that IDK was making turned out to be in the same line as Panic’s music, and Dallon realised it was too late. He couldn’t have both IDK and Panic, and he was going to have to pick one. 

 

So he sat Linda and Spencer down and cooked them dinner one night, because he knew that they both liked food and that they’d be as unbiased as possible. Ryan would tell Dallon to pick IDK, and Brendon would tell Dallon to drop it. Dallon wanted a real opinion. 

 

“So, I bet you’re wondering why I made you food,” Dallon said. 

 

Linda and Spencer looked at each other. Spencer shook his head. “No. We weren’t.”

 

“We thought you were just being nice,” Linda said. She frowned. “Are you moving out?”

 

“No, but I need your advice,” Dallon said. He explained the situation to the two of them, and realised they were the first people outside of the band who knew about the band. Dallon figured that meant something. He took a deep breath and tried not to read into things too much. “I can’t have both. I don’t know which one to choose.”

 

“Go with your own band,” Spencer said without any hesitation. 

 

Dallon frowned. 

 

“I agree with him,” Linda said. “You’ve been so excited the past few weeks, and now that I know what you’ve been doing in secret, it makes more sense. This is a good thing for you, Dal. You deserve better than just being one of Brendon’s backup singers.”

 

Spencer rolled his eyes. “You’re more than that.”

 

“I don’t feel like it,” Dallon said. Spencer and Linda gave him a look, and Dallon knew that he’d made his decision. He nodded. “Alright, I get it. Being a touring member of Panic! isn’t where I should be and I should take the risk and go all in with IDK.”

 

He paused. “I don’t know if I can afford to do that, though.”

 

“Well, I could always use a new trophy husband,” Linda said. She was joking, but Dallon wished she wasn’t. He knew he couldn’t marry both of them, because that wasn’t a thing, but to have the word husband attached to his name… Dallon wanted that. 

 

Dallon smiled. “Yeah, alright. Until Ryan and I get somewhere with IDK, I can be your second trophy husband.”

 

“You’ll actually be both of our trophy husbands,” Spencer said. Dallon raised his eyebrows. Spencer grinned. “I work for DCD2 now. It’s still a secret, and Pete and I are waiting until after the album drops to reveal who I am.”

 

“So I’m both of y’alls trophy husband,” Dallon said. 

 

Linda nodded. “It looks like it.”


	2. Linda

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not an April Fools thing. This is a legitimate chapter, and also a fic where I can actually have an updating schedule because I've written a few chapters ahead. 
> 
> This chapter is also the one that's going to push me over 1million words on ao3, which is so fucking awesome I don't even have words. Expect an influx of shit from me over the next few days, because I have a few things in mind. 
> 
> On that note, enjoy!

Spencer was the first man Linda ever dated, and she ended up marrying him. She tried not to make a big deal about that, because she knew there were people out there who would call her out for it. She’d never called herself a lesbian, because she knew she was bisexual. The issue was that most men were annoying, and Linda got along better with women anyway. 

 

She’d dated Sarah for a little over a year before the two of them decided their lives weren’t cohesive. The break-up was easy, even though Linda was a little heart-broken because she’d really liked Sarah. 

 

Then Sarah met Brendon, and the two of them hit it off really well, and Linda couldn’t be heart-broken because she was too busy making sure her friend’s new boyfriend wasn’t an asshole. 

 

He was a bit of an asshole, but he was also really sweet when he needed to be, and so Linda let him pass. She even attended a few of his band’s shows with Sarah, to show that she approved of him and that she and Sarah could still be friends without things being weird. 

 

“I want to get a house, but I don’t want to get it alone,” Linda said. She and Sarah were hanging out on the beach while Brendon was out working on an album. Linda pushed her sunglasses down her nose. “Do you know anyone I could live with?”

 

“Do you care if they’re a guy?” Sarah asked. 

 

Linda shrugged. “Depends. Who do you have in mind?”

 

“You know Brendon’s drummer, right?” 

 

“Yeah,” Linda said. “Is he looking for a housemate?”

 

Sarah nodded. Linda had met the drummer--Spencer--at a previous show, but the two of them hadn’t had much time alone. Linda wanted to get to know him personally before she agreed. She told Sarah that, and Sarah gave her Spencer’s number and told her to figure it out. 

 

Spencer was hilarious. His sense of humour was right on the line of weird and offensive, but Linda knew she could fix that. She could be intimidating if she needed to be, and Spencer seemed genuinely nice otherwise. He’d clearly never been around anyone who cared about sexist remarks, though. 

 

They ended up not getting the house Linda was looking at, so she renewed the lease on her apartment and forgot about Spencer for a few months. And then, in the fall, he asked her out on a date. 

 

Linda said yes, and at the end of it, he gave her a fistbump before dropping her off at her apartment. She thought it was odd, but maybe he hadn’t meant it as an actual date and just wanted to hang out with a friend. Linda was fine with that. She didn't have a lot of guy friends, and even though she liked Spencer, she wasn’t going to push him into something he wasn’t interested in. 

 

He called her a few hours later, and Linda picked up. She was sitting on her bed, wearing an oversized t-shirt, and had reruns of  _ Friends _ on in the background. “Hey.”

 

“So I’m an idiot,” Spencer said. 

 

Linda laughed. “Why?”

 

“I wanted to kiss you, but I chickened out because I didn’t want you to think I was a creep and now I’m convinced I fucked up.”

 

“You didn’t,” Linda said. She bit her lip. “In fact, I’d be willing to go on another date with you.”

 

“Really?” He sounded excited. Linda loved it. She definitely liked him. 

 

“Yep,” she said. “And, next time, feel free to kiss me at the beginning, too.”

 

Their next date was a double date with Sarah and Brendon, and they ended up spending the night at Brendon’s house. They had sex, and then acted like they hadn’t, and a few days later Spencer jokingly mentioned that he’d found another house that he was thinking about, and wouldn’t it be funny if he and Linda ended up as roommates now that they were dating. 

 

“Why not?” Linda said. 

 

Spencer was caught off guard. “Wait. You’re--you’d be okay with that?”

 

“I was willing to move in with you before we were dating,” Linda said. She smiled. “And besides, I have a pretty good track record when it comes to being friends with my exes. If we don’t work out, I promise not to leave you alone with the mortgage.”

 

They bought the house and moved in a month and a half later, and then never broke up. There were times when shit hit the fan and one or both of them slept on the couch, but that was part of being in an adult relationship. Linda didn’t give up on Spencer, and Spencer didn’t give up on her. 

 

And then Linda sat down next to a gorgeous, tall man named Dallon at Brendon and Sarah’s wedding. 

 

Linda knew who Dallon was, because Spencer talked about him a lot. Dallon was tall and funny and kind, and Linda knew Spencer had a bit of a crush on him, but it had never been an issue because as far as they knew, Dallon was straight. 

 

Linda met Dallon, and she immediately understood the appeal. He had an interest in her, but when she mentioned that Spencer was her boyfriend, she noticed how he backed up a little and changed his approach. He wasn’t bitter about it, at least not outwardly, and he didn’t hold it against Spencer. Linda liked him. 

 

After the wedding, and while she and Spencer were in their hotel room for the night, she mentioned it. 

 

Spencer nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

 

“Do you think we could date him?” Linda asked. 

 

Spencer frowned. “What, like how Ryan dated Keltie and I?”

 

“No, because that wasn’t really dating,” Linda said. She didn’t like that Spencer’s comparison involved Ryan. The two still weren’t on speaking terms, even though Ryan was getting better the same way Spencer was. Ryan was the first person Spencer had ever been in love with, and he hadn’t been easy to love. 

 

“Then like what?” Spencer asked. 

 

“Like three people who like each other,” Linda said. “And if he’s not into guys, then we’ll drop it. I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t love you like I do.”

 

Dallon did like guys. It wasn’t hard to figure out. Brendon also told Spencer, who then told Linda and then the two of them complained about how Brendon didn’t understand the concept of secrets. Brendon was straight, but he was the kind of straight guy who didn’t have an issue making out with guys for fun. Linda hated it, Spencer was used to it, and Dallon seemed distressed by it. 

 

Linda started hanging out with Dallon more, and then she realised that she really liked him the longer he stayed over at her and Spencer’s house. 

 

“You’re charming,” Linda said one night while she and Dallon were making dinner. 

 

Dallon raised an eyebrow. “Am I?”

 

“I just said you were,” she responded. She turned towards him and crossed her arms over her chest. “Dal, I don’t hang out with a lot of guys because I think most of them are boring. The fact that we do this,” she motioned between the two of them, “is a compliment.”

 

“You hang out with Brendon,” Dallon argued. 

 

“And Sarah,” Linda said. “Brendon’s not the worst, but he’s not my favourite person. That position is a tie between you and Spencer.”

 

“Oh,” Dallon said, and went back to the dishes. Linda pinched the bridge of her nose. She was going to have to be even more obvious about things, then. She hadn’t had these issues with Spencer, or with any of the women she’d dated before him. Dallon was just… difficult. 

 

Spencer proposed to her a year later, after they’d hit a thousand brick walls with Dallon. Linda figured that they were going to have to do something big and dramatic, but she wasn’t going to make Spencer wait around in case Dallon wasn’t interested. They loved each other; there was no reason not to get married. 

 

The wedding was beautiful even though Linda was stressed the entire time. She cried, and then Spencer cried, and when Linda looked over her shoulder she saw that Sarah and Dallon were also crying. She kissed Spencer, and it felt  _ right _ , but she felt like Dallon should have been somewhere other than the audience. 

 

Linda curled around Spencer that night, when they were exhausted from having sex and trying to go to sleep so that they wouldn’t miss their flight. 

 

Spencer kissed her head. “What’s on your mind?”

 

“Dallon,” Linda said. She looked up at her husband (!!). “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I think I feel the same way about him as I do with you.”

 

“I love him too,” Spencer said. He pressed his thumb against his ring. “I don’t regret any of this, but I wish I could be married to both of you.”

 

Linda shrugged. “Why not?”

 

“Well, we’re not even dating Dallon, so that’s one reason,” Spencer said. He grinned. “Not that we haven’t tried. I think Dallon just doesn’t recognise affection unless it’s shoved down his throat.”

 

“...we’re not literally shoving things down Dallon’s throat.”

 

“Fine,” Spencer said. He sighed. “But we need to show him we love him. I mean, the guy’s been living with us for years now, and he still hasn’t figured it out. Clearly we’re missing something.”

 

“We’ll figure it out,” Linda said. She just hoped that their marriage wouldn’t make things harder. She loved Dallon, like she loved Spencer, and she’d do anything for either of her boys.

 

A moment later, Spencer gasped and flicked Linda’s arm. “I figured it out.”

 

Linda frowned. “What?”

 

“We invite him to move in with us,” Spencer said. He grinned. “I mean, hey, it worked with the two of us. It might work with Dallon, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment/kudos if you enjoyed!


	3. Spencer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, uploading this in a car while my dad has a bitch fit in the front seat: I make good choices in life. 
> 
> Anyway, here it is. There wasnt a chapter last week because I was on parahoy, which was rad. Enjoy!

Spencer’s dating history before Linda was Ryan, then Haley, then Ryan again in secret, and then Haley until Ryan broke up with Keltie and had a musical mental break down. 

 

So when Linda came into his life, beautiful, brilliant, and sure of herself, Spencer wasn’t sure what to do. But he fell in love with her and she wasn’t put off by his being trans, and they worked. There was talk about having kids, but it was never serious, and Linda made sure to never make Spencer feel like there was something wrong with him just because he couldn’t get her pregnant. 

 

“Well, the good thing is, we won’t have to spend money on condoms,” Spencer said. 

 

Linda raised her eyebrows. “When was the last time you got tested?”

 

“Are you saying I have herpes?” 

 

She shrugged. “I’m saying it’s better to use condoms until we know we’re clean and with only each other. I mean, it’s been a while since I got tested, and I usually do whenever I start seriously dating someone.”

 

Spencer grinned. “So we’re serious now?”

 

“As serious as we can be,” Linda said, and then winked. And then they ended up having sex on the couch, because they were home alone and no one could complain about it. It was their house, that they lived in, and if they wanted to have sex on every surface, then they could. 

 

The other issue in Spencer’s life, aside from the pills and the rehab and the big decision about whether or not he could stay in Panic! once he was okay, was Dallon. Dallon was gorgeous and Spencer had threatened to cut Brendon’s balls off if he didn’t hire the guy as their new bassist. Spencer had liked Jon, and missed the guy, but Jon didn’t have legs for days or soft blue eyes that were like looking into the ocean at dawn. 

 

Basically, Spencer had never been gay for his bassist before, and while that had seemed like a great idea in 2011 before he’d met Linda, now it was making things awkward. 

 

“Just tell him you like his ass,” Linda said. She frowned immediately after. “In a nice way. Don’t be an dick about it.”

 

“I’d bite the fuck out of his ass,” Spencer said, because he had no impulse control when he was with people he was comfortable around. 

 

Linda laughed. “Don’t say that. You’ll scare him.”

 

Spencer nodded. The next time he saw Dallon, he mentioned that he liked the view from behind his drum kit. Dallon nodded, and said something about how seeing all the fans singing along inspired him too. Spencer hadn’t meant that. He didn’t bring it up again. 

 

He did, however, ask Brendon about it, but Brendon was not at all helpful because his suggestion was to deep throat something while looking right at Dallon. Spencer knew that wouldn’t work. He hadn’t dated as many people as Brendon, but he knew how to read someone. Dallon blushed easily. Miming sex acts was not the way to seduce the guy. 

 

So Spencer tried being subtle. “I really like your glittery pants. They make your legs look great.”

 

“They’re my favourite,” Dallon said. He looked down at his legs. “But I have to disagree. I don’t think there’s anything out there that could make my legs look good. They’re not meant to be a selling point.”

 

Spencer, who’d thought about biting into Dallon’s inner thighs many times and had talked about going down on him with Linda as well, had to disagree. “You could always not wear pants.”

 

Dallon went red in the face. “That… no. That’s not what anyone wants to see.”

 

Somewhere, Linda was rolling her eyes and arguing that there were two people who would love to see Dallon’s naked legs. The two people were her and Spencer, but Spencer was pretty sure there were fans out there who thought the same thing. He didn’t say that to Dallon, though. He didn’t think Dallon would be comfortable with that. 

 

Spencer was the one to suggest having Dallon move in with them, and then was the one who cleared out the guest room to make it reasonable for Dallon to move into. Linda was the one who suggested they have sex on the guest room bed and then change the sheets afterwards for good luck, and Spencer agreed before pulling her down onto the mattress and tugging her jeans off. 

 

He really did have a thing for oral. Linda liked it, so he wasn’t going to stop. 

 

They ended up having sex again in the laundry room, because neither of them knew when to give up and they both had great stamina. There were no condoms involved, because they’d been with each other for years and they both knew that Dallon would be the only exception now that they were married. 

 

Dallon moved in five days later, and neither of them mentioned the bed sex. 

 

“Hey, what do you guys want for dinner?” Dallon asked. The three of them were watching  _ Game of Thrones _ on the couch, with Spencer in the middle. He’d slowly been moving into Dallon’s space over the last few episodes, and Linda had her legs up on his lap while working on something on her laptop. 

 

Linda looked at Spencer and then at Dallon. “You don’t have to make dinner, babe.”

 

“I want to,” Dallon said. “I mean, you guys let me live here, I should be doing  _ something _ \--”

 

“We asked you to move in because we like you,” Spencer said, and thought _ is this it? Is he finally going to get that we’re into him? _ He put his hand on Dallon’s thigh and squeezed gently. “You don’t owe us anything.”

 

Dallon frowned. “You’re sure?”

 

“Yeah,” Spencer said. “This set up is because we want to be around you. You being able to pursue your dreams is a bonus, and you don’t owe us for it. We want the best for you.”

 

“Can I still make you dinner?” Dallon asked after a long moment where he still didn’t get that Spencer and Linda were in love with him. 

 

Linda sighed. “As long as you don’t feel like you have to do it for us, yes. You can cook for us.”

 

“Okay,” Dallon said, pulling his legs away from Dallon. “I’m gonna. I’m gonna go do that now.”

 

He bolted, and Spencer rubbed his hand across his face. It wasn’t that they were going too fast, because they’d been showing their interest in Dallon for years now, and casual touches were normal between the three of them. Spencer didn’t think they could move any slower. 

 

He peeked at Linda through his fingers. “You don’t think we’re taking this too fast, do you?”

 

“I think our definition of fast and Dallon’s definition of fast are two very different things,” Linda said.

 

Spencer frowned. “We’re rushing him.”

 

“I don’t think that,” Linda said. “I think we need to be more obvious about what we’re doing.”

 

“How?” Spencer asked. 

 

“Well, next time either of us get invited to an event with a plus one, we bring Dallon as well,” Linda said. “And if anyone questions it, we’ll just do what we always do.”

 

The next big event was IDK playing at emo nite. That wasn’t what Spencer and Linda had planned, but they weren’t going to fight it. Spencer had never been able to see Dallon play live from the front, and he was looking forward to it. Linda had never seen Dallon play the role of the front man, and she wanted to see how he translated his stage presence to the center of the stage.

 

It turned out to essentially be watching a strip tease. Dallon didn’t take anything off, but he had an energy around him that made Spencer want to pull him off the stage and fuck him. He wanted to lick the sweat off of Dallon’s neck and then bite him right as he was supposed to hit a high note, just to throw him off. 

 

Linda slipped her hand into Spencer’s back pocket. “We’re having sex with the door open tonight.”

 

Spencer nodded. “Yep.”

  
“That wasn’t really a question,” she said. She bit her lip. “I hope he knows how hot he is up there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment/kudos if you enjoyed!


	4. Dallon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my name is Stressed McFuck and I'm stressed as fuck. Because finals, obviously. 
> 
> Here's the next part of the fic; if I miss next Sunday I've either died or I didn't have time to write, sorry.

Part four: Dallon

 

Spencer and Linda were having sex when Dallon got back from the show. They’d left before him because Dallon and Ryan had had to stick around and talk to fans (not that Dallon minded). It wasn’t the first time Dallon had overheard the two of them having sex, and he wasn’t surprised that they had sex either. They were married. They’d been together for six years. There was bound to be sex. 

 

No, the problem was that their bedroom door was still open a little, and so Dallon could hear everything. And it kind of turned him on, but he was trying to ignore that. He assumed they’d finish and go to bed, and then once they were asleep Dallon could just jack off and sleep himself. 

 

They did not stop. It had been almost an hour. Dallon was sitting on his bed, still dressed in his show clothes, and pressing his palm down over his boner because he didn’t know what to do about it. 

 

He needed a shower, but he had to leave his room to get to it, and he didn’t want Spencer or Linda to see him with an obvious bulge in his pants.

 

“Shit, Spencer, that feels--oh God, your fucking  _ tongue _ \--”

 

Okay. Fuck that plan. Dallon needed to shower now, because he couldn’t just sit here and wait. Clearly, Spencer and Linda could go on for a while. 

 

He got up, grabbed his pajamas, and raced to the bathroom before locking the door and turning on the shower. He stripped down and got under the water, and immediately reached down to stroke himself off. 

 

Dallon couldn’t get the images of Spencer and Linda out of his head, though. He could see Spencer, his head between Linda’s legs, and her head thrown back with her hair cascading across the pillow. He imagined Linda on top of Spencer, smooth and solid, riding him while he held onto her legs. 

 

“Shit,” Dallon hissed, and came over his hand. He stared at his reflection in the fogged over shower mirror. He’d hit a new embarrassing low. People weren’t supposed to get off to their married friends having sex. It was bad enough that Dallon couldn’t get over his crush on them, but now he was using them as jacking material? This was bad. This was really, really bad. 

 

He didn’t sleep well that night, and when he woke up he smelled coffee and breakfast and wondered why he was doing this to himself. Spencer and Linda were hot, they could both cook, and they were affectionate and sexually active. 

 

Dallon was actually going to die. Somewhere, Brendon Urie was laughing his ass off and he didn’t understand why. 

 

Dallon frowned and got out of bed. He ran a hand through his hair and didn’t look at himself for too long while he brushed his teeth. He knew he looked like a corpse, and that his hair was going in three thousand directions. He’d accepted that he didn’t look great in the mornings. He was thirty-six. He wasn’t supposed to look amazing. 

 

Spencer and Linda both stared at him when he walked into the kitchen. Linda looked away first, because she was making pancakes and had to pay attention to something other than Dallon’s ridiculous bed head. Spencer, however, was just hanging out. 

 

Dallon sat down beside him. Spencer didn’t look away. Dallon arched his eyebrows. “Is it that bad?”

 

“The opposite, actually,” Spencer said. He reached up and ran his hand through Dallon’s hair, tugging gently at the strands. Dallon shivered. Fuck. He needed to do something about his hair so that they wouldn’t touch it all the time, because Dallon definitely had a thing for people pulling his hair. 

 

Spencer was practically petting him. “You’re hair’s fucking soft. What conditioner are you using?”

 

“I--I don’t know,” Dallon said, and tried not to lean in to Spencer’s touch. 

 

Spencer pulled Dallon’s head towards him and pressed his nose into Dallon’s hair. “Smells good, whatever it is.”

 

“Not as good as mine,” Linda said. She had the pancakes, thankfully. Dallon felt like his heart was about to break through his ribcage. Spencer had already showered, but he smelled fucking good and he was warm and there was a hickey poking out from under his shirt collar. 

 

Dallon knew where it had come from. There was another hickey on Linda’s neck, and she wasn’t covering it with her hair. 

 

Actually, there were multiple hickeys on Linda. Dallon tried not to think about it while he was eating breakfast with the two of them. 

 

“So, are you and Ryan doing anything today?” Linda asked. 

 

“Was that at me or your other trophy husband?” Spencer said. He winked at Dallon. Dallon actually considered dying right then so that he could get out of this. This was too much. 

 

Linda raised her eyebrows. “You and your Ryan are making an album?”

 

“No.”

 

“Then clearly I was talking to the tall, dark, and handsome one,” Linda said. She pointed her fork to Dallon. 

 

Dallon swallowed and wondered how many showers he could take before his skin fell off. “I’m not meeting up with Ryan today. We’re still working stuff out online.”

 

“Great,” Linda said. She grinned. “That means you can be my plus one tonight.”

 

Dallon frowned. “What about Spencer? Your actual husband.”

 

“Pete stuff,” Spencer said. He’d been doing a lot of Pete stuff recently, but he never elaborated about what he was doing with Pete. Spencer and Pete had known each other for years, and Dallon was pretty sure that they considered each other friends. It didn't have to be a work thing; Pete might be using Spencer as a person to vent to about various things. 

 

Linda took a sip from her coffee. “Are you ever going to get around to telling me what he's trying to get you to do?”

 

“No, because I'd have to tell both of you,” Spencer said. He squeezed Dallon's leg. “Its music stuff, which means Dal can't have an upper hand.”

 

Dallon frowned. “You don't have to tell me. You can just tell Linda instead.”

 

“Dal, you're a part of our lives,” Linda said. She reached our over the table and put her hand on top of his. “We want to tell you things.”

 

_ I'm not married to you _ , Dallon thought. He wished, on some level, that he was, but he knew it was impossible. Three people couldn't be married to each other. Even if they could, he knew that Linda and Spencer wouldn't marry  _ him _ . There were other people out there who were more successful and more attractive and appealing that they could pick. Dallon knew he wasn't even in their top ten, if they had one. 

 

He agreed to be Linda’s plus one anyway. He didn't want to make things awkward for her, and he liked her company. 

 

Linda left for work after breakfast and Spencer headed to his thing with Pete after he and Dallon had lunch. And then Dallon was alone with the dogs and he didn't know what to do with himself. 

 

He took them both for a walk and made small talk with the neighbours. Dallon wondered what they thought about him. Did they think he was having an affair with Linda or Spencer? Or did they think he was just a guy who was down on his luck and the couple was being nice to him? Dallon hated not knowing. He felt out of place here, because most of Spencer and Linda's neighbours were young married couples. Dallon was older by a few years, and he wasn't married. He was just the odd third wheel to a great couple. 

 

Dallon was a mess. 

 

He went back and spent the rest of the day buried in writing music so that he wouldn't have to think. It was easier to not think about Spencer and Linda. He liked both of them, but he could never have either of them, and there was no reason to dream of situations where the three of them were anything but friends. 

 

“You look busy,” Linda's voice cut through Dallon's thoughts and he startled. Linda moved around and grabbed the pen Dallon had dropped. “Sorry. We need to leave in an hour, by the way. You should probably get dressed.”

 

“How fancy is it?” Dallon asked. 

 

Linda smiled. “You get to wear a suit. Feel free to have fun with it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment/kudos if you enjoyed!


	5. Linda

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not to be That Bitch, but please don't ask about updates. They /will/ happen. Ao3 is just a bitch sometimes, and other times I have work/assignments to do.

 

She told Dallon to have fun with it in the hopes that he'd pick out something other than a generic black suit. Linda loved Spencer, but the longer he was out of Panic!, the less colour he wore. Spencer looked great in black, but Linda wished there was more colour in his wardrobe sometimes. 

 

Dallon didn't have that issue. His attire was always interesting, and he looked good in suits. 

 

Dallon looked up at her. “How  _ much _ fun?”

 

“Well, don’t come out in a clown suit, but don't feel like you have to wear something boring,” Linda said. She leaned over and kissed Dallon on the forehead before heading to her own bedroom to change. She’d seen some of his Amazon history, and she knew the things he’d been buying for IDK shows. Dallon wasn’t a boring person. Linda wanted him to look good. 

 

She considered mentioning that everyone at work thought that the three of them were all already dating, but didn’t. Dallon would pick up on it eventually, and Linda was good at keeping people from freaking out. It was part of her job. She did PR stuff when she wasn’t making sure everyone in the office was actually working and not just taking Buzzfeed quizzes. 

 

Her phone buzzed, and she leaned over to make sure it wasn’t something important. 

 

_ Dal: hey what colour are u wearing i don’t want to clash _

 

Linda grinned, and responded and said she was wearing a black jumpsuit, so Dallon didn’t have to worry about clashing. She was wearing the jumpsuit she’d taken engagement photos in, but she didn’t think Dallon would connect the two. Linda liked that jumpsuit. She could wear it to multiple things and no one would care. 

 

She took her hair down and styled it into something purposeful. Her hair was naturally wavy, and she liked it, but it wasn’t naturally neat. She used a lot of hairspray to get it to be where she needed it. 

 

Dallon tapped on the door. “Can I come in?”

 

“Go for it,” Linda called out. “I’m doing my hair.”

 

She heard the door open, and looked over her shoulder through the mirror. Dallon was wearing a floral shirt under a simple blazer, and black pants. Not as exciting as Linda had hoped, but it was something. 

 

She grinned. “You look great.”

 

“Thanks,” Dallon said. He looked her over. “I’m not underdressed?”

 

“Nah,” Linda said. “You’d be fine even without the jacket, but hold onto it.”

 

Dallon made a confused face. 

 

Linda pecked his cheek. “In case I get cold. I don’t have sleeves on this thing, and the restaurant is probably going to be air conditioned.”

 

“Oh,” Dallon said. “Right.”

 

The two of them took Linda’s car to the restaurant, where Linda gave the name of her company and looped her arm through Dallon’s while the host took them to the large table in the back. They were inside, because it was a bit chilly for LA and no one wanted to shiver through dinner. 

 

Linda let go of Dallon to motion at him. “Everyone, this is Dallon. He’s real, as promised.”

 

“Hi,” Dallon waved awkwardly. Linda took his hand and then the two of them sat down. It was the same as going to company dinners with Spencer, except Dallon was more tense. Spencer had been tense for the first few, but he warmed up to people quickly, and he also knew that he was seen as Linda’s date and not just a random guy she’d picked up off the street. 

 

Linda wished there was a way to let Dallon know that no one was looking at him strangely for this. This was normal. This was the kind of thing that couples did, and Linda wanted Dallon to be a part of her life the way Spencer was. 

 

“Did you want something to drink?” Dallon asked. 

 

Linda raised her eyebrows. “Dal. I’m driving.”

 

“I know, but I mean… if you wanted to, I could drive back,” Dallon said. 

 

“It’s fine,” she said. She rubbed her thumb over his hand, and Dallon actually responded this time. He laced his fingers between hers, and pulled their hands under the table. Linda smiled to herself. Progress. That counted as progress. 

 

Nothing more happened during dinner. Dallon hovered around Linda, and Linda held onto him because she liked it. She liked him. It was the same way she felt about Spencer, except now Dallon was reciprocating somewhat, and she felt like she was falling in love all over again. She didn’t want to go home, because there was a part of her that was worried Dallon would back off the moment they got away from everyone. 

 

She was right. Dallon let go of Linda as soon as they were back in the car, and he was awkwardly silent from the restaurant to the house. 

 

Linda parked the car but didn’t get out of it. There was something about car conversations. They were safe. Nothing bad ever happened within the confines of a car. 

 

“Do your coworkers think you’re having an affair with me?” Dallon asked when he realised that Linda wasn’t leaving. 

 

“No,” Linda said. “Why would they?”

 

“You--” Dallon said. He looked over at her. Linda wanted to kiss him. “Why were you doing that, at dinner?”

 

“Dallon, we’re affectionate with each other all the time. So’s Spencer,” she said. “None of this is weird, or different.”

 

“It is when people are watching,” Dallon said. He rubbed his hand over his face, messing his hair up. Linda didn’t lean over and fix it, even though she always did that. He sighed. “I don’t… you two are my best friends, and I don’t want to fuck any of that up, but we can’t act like that in public. People will get the wrong idea, and I don’t want you to get in trouble at work, or for people to think Spencer’s…”

 

“Spencer’s bi, Dal,” Linda said. 

 

Dallon looked at her. “What?”

 

“We’re both bi,” Linda said. “Sarah’s my ex, and Ryan was Spencer’s. It’s not a big deal if either of us come out, we just haven’t.”

 

“Oh,” Dallon said. He frowned. “Why haven’t you?”

 

“Backlash,” Linda said. There were people out there who would say they were doing it for attention. There were already people out there who thought that Linda’s feminism was just an act she put on so that the fans would like her, or that Spencer was only pretending to be a feminist so that the fans wouldn’t harass them. Linda and Spencer were genuine, but the internet didn’t believe them. It was annoying, but it was a thing Linda had grown used to. 

 

Dallon ran his hand through his hair, twisting the ends around his fingers. “I… I am too, actually.”

 

Linda smiled. “I figured.”

 

“How?”

 

“Sometimes you just know,” Linda said. She reached out and squeezed Dallon’s knee. “Don’t worry. I don’t think anyone else really knows, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

 

“Should I come out?” Dallon asked. “Or would that make IDK a gay band and not just a band?”

 

“I think you should do whatever you’re comfortable with,” Linda said. She squeezed his knee again. “The people that matter will have your back. Spencer and I will have your back even if we don’t matter to you.”

 

“You two matter. A lot,” Dallon said. He looked down at her hand. “You’re… I don’t know how much of this I’d be able to do without the two of you.”

 

Linda’s heart twisted in her chest. She leaned over and kissed Dallon’s cheek again, and then got out of the car. She knew Dallon would follow her back into their house. She knew that Spencer was already back from his thing with Pete, because the lights were on inside and she could hear him talking to the dogs. Linda smiled to herself. She loved her boys. 

 

Spencer was on the floor, with Captain on his chest, when Linda opened the garage door. He looked over at her and grinned. “I’ve been ambushed. Where’s Dal?”

 

“Behind me,” She said. She kicked her shoes off and knelt down to scratch behind Captain’s ears. “You have fun with Pete?”

 

“Yeah,” he said. “I’m going to be joining Fall Out Boy for a couple weeks on tour, by the way.”

 

“Do you know when?” Linda asked. She heard the door open and close behind her, and Dallon joined the two of them in the living room. 

 

Captain got off of Spencer to go say hi to Dallon, and Spencer sat up. He ran his hands through his hair to get it back out of his face. “A few weeks in November. I won’t miss anything important.”

 

“Oh shit,” Dallon said. 

 

Linda and Spencer looked at him. Linda raised her eyebrows. “What?”

 

“Just… Ryan and I are playing a show in New York City in November,” Dallon said. He looked embarrassed, like Linda or Spencer would try and stop him from going. “Sorry.”

 

“No, that’s great!” Spencer said. He grinned. “I was going to join them in Florida, but I can join in New York and fly out together.”

 

Dallon looked at Linda. “You won’t mind being alone?”

 

Linda shrugged. “Why would I? I have the dogs, and you two both know how to use Skype.”

 

“Yeah I do,” Spencer grinned. Linda rolled her eyes at him. Yes, they had Skype sex. Spencer was a teenage boy sometimes, and she’d long ago come to love that about him. 

 

Dallon’s face was red. “I uh. I won’t be using Skype… like that.”

 

“It’s okay,” Linda said, smiling gently. “You can use it however you want.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave a cooment/kudos if you enjoyed!


	6. Spencer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't post this last Sunday because I watched Infinity War and I've been reading Steve/Bucky fanfiction ever since. So, like. That's a thing again. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Spencer wasn’t actually asleep. He had been, earlier, but he’d woken up when the plane hit a bit of turbulence. He was leaned against Dallon’s shoulder, somehow, and so he had no interest in moving. Dallon was comfortable. Spencer wasn’t going to get a lot of comfort in the next few days. 

 

Dallon was also humming something under his breath. It was a song, but Spencer hadn’t heard it before. He assumed it was an IDK thing, and he wished for the thousandth time that he wouldn’t be in Virginia when Dallon and Ryan performed. He wanted to see them live again. Dallon was a great frontman. Dallon was a  _ hot _ frontman. He didn’t need to get naked or makeout with other people on stage to keep the audience interested. Dallon himself was enough of a presence for people to fawn over him. 

 

Spencer… didn’t want other people fawning over Dallon. He knew it was a stupid thing to want, because he and Dallon weren’t together and Dallon was more of a public figure than him and Linda combined. People weren’t blind. Dallon was a really good looking guy. There was plenty of fan accounts out there to prove that Linda and Spencer weren’t the only ones who wanted to have sex with Dallon. 

 

Dallon didn’t seem to get it. He dodged compliments. He acted like all the fans were only there because they liked the music, and not also because they liked the guy(s) making it. He didn’t see how fucking incredible he looked, or how his personality only enhanced that. He was a sweet, charming guy, and Spencer wanted to go down on him until he was a whining mess. 

 

Spencer turned his head towards Dallon’s shoulder. He was on a plane. He couldn’t start thinking about all the things he wanted to do with Dallon. Or with Dallon and Linda. Those were always better, because everyone involved. 

 

Dallon shifted, and then he was moving a stray piece of hair out of Spencer’s face. Spencer bit the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling and breaking the facade, because that was fucking cute. Sometimes Dallon made Spencer horny, and sometimes Dallon made him feel like a little kid with a crush all over again. Spencer liked both feelings. 

 

The plane landed, Spencer pretended to wake up again, and the two of them caught up with Fall Out Boy for dinner. The restaurant wasn’t empty, because this was New York City and there were famous people everywhere. It wasn’t fancy, and it felt like a 1950’s diner had had a love affair with a sleazy 1980’s bar and birthed this place as a result. 

 

“I love this place,” Dallon murmured. He ran his fingers over the jukebox, and Spencer wondered if he could somehow convince Dallon to dance with him. “It feels like something out of a movie.”

 

“Maybe when Linda and I remodel the kitchen we’ll add in some neon,” Spencer said, and winked. They’d been thinking about redesigning it anyway. It was too small for the amount of cooking and experimenting the two of them did. 

 

Dallon shook his head. “You don’t… don’t design your kitchen for me.”

 

“We were planning on changing it,” Spencer said. “Might as well get something we’ll all like.”

 

Dallon looked at him strangely, but Spencer pretended to not know why. When he and Linda had asked Dallon to move in, it hadn’t been a temporary suggestion. They liked having him around. They were just bad at coming out and saying it in a way Dallon couldn’t brush off as just being platonic. 

 

Spencer put his hand on Dallon’s lower back and led him to the table, where all four members of Fall Out Boy were already sitting down. 

 

Pete looked up first, and noted Spencer’s hand placement. “You guys finally figured it all out?”

 

“We’re getting there,” Spencer said. 

 

“Yeah,” Dallon said. He let Spencer sit down next to Pete, and then slid in on the other side of Spencer. “I’m going to start looking for my own place soon. I just have to get a few things worked out.”

 

Spencer wondered if it was socially acceptable to just slam his head against the table. He didn’t do that, though, and instead smiled like he was dying at Pete. “Like I said. Work in progress.”

 

Pete patted Spencer on the shoulder, and then changed the subject to something that didn’t involve relationships. Spencer didn’t get what Dallon’s issue was. Either he wasn’t interested in Spencer and Linda, which was unlikely, or he still hadn’t picked up on their (very obvious) hints. 

 

Dallon and Spencer were in a hotel together, because Spencer was only in New York for one night and Ryan wouldn’t be in New York until a few days from now. Spencer, because he couldn’t think of a better idea, had gotten him and Dallon a single bed room at the hotel. 

 

Dallon paused in the doorway and looked over his shoulder at Spencer. “There’s only one bed.”

 

Spencer leaned around Dallon. “Yep. Guess we’re sharing.”

 

“I can--we don’t have to do that,” Dallon spluttered out. 

 

Spencer stared at him. Slowly, he raised one eyebrow. Dallon  _ could not _ be this dense. It wasn’t possible. 

 

Dallon’s face was red. “No, I mean… I mean you’re married--”

 

“And? Look, we’ve toured together,” Spencer said. “I’ve seen you naked, you’ve probably seen me naked, and we’ve definitely slept in a bed or a bunk together. I don’t see what the difference is.”

 

“Linda’s a pretty big difference,” Dallon said. 

 

Spencer rolled his eyes. “Dude. Seriously. I started dating Linda only a few months after I met you. She’s never had an issue with me sharing spaces with other people, and it’s not like you’re some random guy, either. You’re _ Dallon _ . You’re her trophy husband.”

 

Dallon frowned. “You’re sure about this?”

 

“Obviously,” Spencer said. He sighed. “Look, Dal, I wouldn’t do anything with you that Linda wasn’t okay with. I love her, and I love you, and I respect both of you. Sharing a bed isn’t… it’s not going to mess with our relationship.”

 

“Okay,” Dallon said. 

 

“Okay,” Spencer echoed, and slipped past Dallon and into the room. He set his things down and shuffled through his bag to grab his pajamas. Usually, he just slept in boxers and a t-shirt, but based on how Dallon had reacted to them sharing a bed, Spencer was going to have to wear pants tonight. 

 

Oh well. He’d done stranger things for love.

 

“Do you want to change first, or should I?” Dallon asked. He’d already gathered his things and had rolled them up into a little ball. His hair was a mess. Spencer really wanted to kiss him, but he wouldn’t. He and Linda had promised that, whenever they did get around to convincing Dallon they wanted to date him, they’d do it together. 

 

Spencer took a deep breath. “Uh. You can. I’ll change out here?”

 

Dallon nodded, and disappeared to the bathroom. 

 

Spencer ran his hands through his hair, letting the product lose it’s hold so that more strands fell into his face. It would happen while he was asleep anyway, and it wasn’t like he minded having hair in his face. He’d been an emo kid. He was used to not seeing things. 

 

He pulled his shirt over his head and took a moment to look at himself in one of the long mirrors in the room. The top surgery scars were nearly gone, but Spencer still didn’t know if Dallon knew he was trans or not. Brendon hadn’t ever outed Spencer, because Brendon knew not to bring that shit up. Brendon wasn’t the greatest when it came to LGBT stuff, but he knew not to out people. 

 

Spencer had gotten top surgery pretty early on in his time with Panic!, and he’d gotten his parents to legally change his name when he was sixteen, so there was no online record of him being anyone other than Spencer Smith. Spencer didn’t care if people knew, but it wasn’t something he wanted to be known for. He was fine just being Spencer. He didn’t need to have all the extra explanations with being Spencer Smith, trans man, especially when all the interesting parts of his transition had happened years ago. 

 

He heard a noise behind him and tossed his shirt on, but it was just the air conditioner turning on. Spencer pulled his jeans off before he remembered that he was in neither Los Angeles nor Las Vegas, and having the AC on in late October was not a good plan. 

 

Spencer crossed the room in his boxers and t-shirt and fiddled with the AC unit. 

 

That, of course, was when Dallon actually came out of the bathroom. 

 

“You’re not wearing pants,” Dallon said. 

 

Spencer turned around and looked down at his legs, which were indeed bare. “I’m not.”

 

“Should I--” Dallon said, pointing back at the bathroom. 

 

“Nah,” Spencer said. “We both have legs. It’s not weird.”

 

“Sorry,” Dallon said. He wasn’t looking anywhere near Spencer. 

 

Spencer frowned, and walked over to Dallon. He took Dallon’s face in his hands and tilted his head so that Dallon was looking at him. “Hey. Dude. Seriously. Stop over thinking things. We’ve all walked in on each other half undressed before. I mean, shit, there’s a picture of Linda in my underwear on instagram. It’s not weird.”

 

“You’re right,” Dallon said. His eyes dropped from Spencer’s eyes to his mouth. Alright. That’s a little gay. Dallon swallowed. “I’m just… I’m a little stressed. This is all new for me.”

 

“You’re doing great,” Spencer said. He rubbed his thumb over Dallon’s cheek. “And this isn’t the first time you’ve been a front man. Or did the Brobecks cease to exist in this timeline when I wasn’t paying attention?”

 

Dallon snorted, and smiled a little against Spencer’s hand. “You’ve got me there.”

 

Spencer smiled, and slowly removed his hands. He didn’t want to, but he didn’t want to make things go in a direction they couldn’t. Spencer wanted to have Dallon, but he wanted Dallon to have both him and Linda, and it wouldn’t be fair to her if they started anything without her around for it. 

 

Dallon set his clothes down on top of his bag and climbed into the bed. He turned onto his side and stretched. “It’s still different. With the Brobecks, no one knew who I was. Now… I mean, Ryan and I have been doing a good job of keeping IDK a secret, but Panic! fans are terrifying. I think they know more about me than I know about me.”

 

“They’re not Panic! fans if they’re showing up to your shows,” Spencer said. He sat down on the edge of the bed and put his pajama pants on. Because decency. He turned around and looked at Dallon. “You’re talented, Dal. I’m a huge fan of what you’re doing.”

 

“Well, that’s one person,” Dallon said. 

 

Spencer pulled himself up so that he was across the mattress from Dallon. “Plus Linda. And all the people out there asking for merch and explanations and singles and making fan accounts for the two of you.”

 

“I already had fan accounts,” Dallon said. “And once the hype dies down, no one’s going to remember this. Once Brendon releases anything, IDK won’t matter.”

 

“I’m going to have to disagree with you on that one,” Spencer said. It was something he’d picked up from Linda. Whenever she got into a debate with someone and realised they were never going to change their mind, she’d drop that line and go back to actually making a change. Linda knew when to quit on people. She hadn’t quit on Dallon, and that was enough for Spencer to know that they were making progress. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment/kudos if you enjoyed!


	7. Dallon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More self-deprecating Dallon! Whoo! 
> 
> I have no idea how long it's going to take for these three to get together, so I guess we'll have to just settle in and hope for the best.

Dallon felt like a fraud a lot of times. He was the side boy-toy for Spencer and Linda, except that he wasn’t. He was a secretive, cool frontman for a band no one had heard of, except that he wasn’t. 

 

Somehow, he and Ryan were playing a sold out show in New York City. Dallon didn’t believe it, but he knew it couldn’t last. The hype from Brendon being on Broadway had died down, and Panic! hadn’t released an album in a year or two, and so IDK was what the fans were using to tide themselves over now. 

 

IDK was a phase. Everyone would grow out of it, and then Dallon and Ryan would be back to playing tiny little shows in LA and hoping that someone not related to them would show up. Dallon had known that that was his future, and while he was glad he was finally getting out of a project he hated, he would miss the pizzazz that came with being in Panic!. 

 

Ryan gave him an encouraging pat on the back, and the two men took the stage. Dallon let his anxieties slip away, pretending that he was someone else and not a washed up third-wheel. He could be so much more than that out here, and he was desperate for people to see that. Dallon was tired of just being the bassist from Panic! at the Disco. He was so tired of being Brendon’s right hand man to everyone except Brendon. He was tired, and he was frustrated, and he was probably going to lose his shit and scream at someone at some point in the near future. 

 

He was sweaty by the end of the show, and tired, but he and Ryan still hung out with fans and smiled and did all the usual after show stuff. Dallon loved it, he really did, but there were times where he wanted to just tell everyone to come meet him for breakfast the next morning, because he wanted to go take a nap. 

 

Tonight was one of those nights, but it was a good tired. He could feel soreness in his arms, but he felt like he was floating. This was New York. Dallon was playing a show all the way across the country, and he and Ryan barely had any music out. They had stuff written, but Ryan was still touring with other bands and Dallon hadn’t quit Panic! yet. He was going to. Soon. He just couldn’t figure out how to tell Brendon without causing a shit show. 

 

“Ready to head back?” Ryan asked as the fans were starting to disperse. 

 

Dallon nodded. He’d checked his things out of his and Spencer’s hotel room the night before, and he’d already seen the new one. There were two beds, thankfully. Dallon got along well with Ryan, but he didn’t like sharing beds with people. He was long and he took up a lot of space. He didn’t want to be annoying. 

 

His phone buzzed almost as soon as he and Ryan got into the hotel. Dallon frowned, and pulled it out to see that Linda was calling him. “Hello? Everything okay?”

 

“Yeah, don’t worry,” Linda said. “Spencer’s just being a baby. He wants to Skype.”

 

Dallon paused. “You don’t… you don’t need me for that.”

 

“Not that kind of Skype,” Linda said. Dallon could practically hear her rolling her eyes. “We missed you.”

 

Dallon’s heart did a stupid little flip at that. He knew she didn’t mean it in a romantic way, but he wished she did. He didn’t think that either of them were into polyamory, or whatever it was called. Dallon wasn’t going to get anything from having a crush on a married couple, but he would take what he could get regardless. 

 

“Sure,” Dallon said after a moment. Ryan was half sitting on one of the beds. He motioned to ask if he needed to leave, and Dallon shook his head. This wasn’t sexual, or romantic or anything. He probably wouldn’t even need headphones. “Give me a second to get on the wifi, though. Ryan and I just got into the hotel.”

 

“Ooh, nice,” Linda said. “Take your time, but text us when you’re ready so I can get the call going.”

 

“I will,” Dallon said. 

 

He ended the call and tried not to trip over himself while getting out his laptop and charger. Ryan was watching him with an amused expression on his face, and Dallon waited until he’d plugged his laptop in to turn to his friend and send him a glare. “What.”

 

“You’ve got a crush,” Ryan said. 

 

Dallon rolled his eyes. “I’m thirty-seven years old. I don’t get  _ crushes _ anymore.”

 

Ryan shrugged. “You’ve got a thing, then.”

 

“It’s not important,” Dallon said. 

 

“It could be,” Ryan argued. “Linda and Spencer seem pretty damn into you.”

 

Dallon stared at him. 

 

Ryan slowly raised his eyebrows. “Wait. Were you… has no one mentioned this?”

 

“No?” Dallon said, because Spencer and Linda were married and that wouldn’t make sense for them to have a thing for Dallon. 

 

“Dude,” Ryan said. He said it the same way someone would say “I’m sorry to tell you, but you’re a fucking idiot,” and that made Dallon feel weird. He didn’t like being out of the loop on things. He knew he was on the older end of the music spectrum, but he wasn’t that out of things. He knew how to read signs, and know when people were interested in him. He wasn’t that oblivious.

 

Dallon crossed his arms over his chest. “They would have said something if they were interested. Besides, they’re married, so it’s not like it matters at this point.”

 

Ryan looked at Dallon like he wanted to either smack him in the face or gently pat his head and tell him he was wrong. Dallon didn’t believe Ryan. Spencer and Linda didn’t do subtle. They didn’t dance around things, or take it slow. They’d moved in with each other after dating for a few months, and even though they’d waited a while to get engaged, everyone around them knew they were soulmates. 

 

Ryan hadn’t been there for all of that. He only knew Spencer and Linda as a married couple, and Dallon as their unlucky friend. 

 

Dallon typed in his password and sent a quick text to Spencer. “Don’t say anything. I don’t want to make things awkward.”

 

“Can do, buddy,” Ryan said, and pulled out his phone. Dallon wondered if he was texting someone, letting a friend know that he was trapped in a hotel with a hopeless bisexual case of a man. Ryan wasn’t like that, though. He wasn’t shady like Brendon. He didn’t exclude Dallon. He and Dallon had been friends before they’d been famous, and they’d both dealt with egotistical jerks who didn’t know when or how to shut up. 

 

Dallon rubbed his hand over his face. He was glad he had Ryan back in his life. He didn’t want to kiss Ryan, and Ryan wasn’t trying to kiss him behind his girlfriend’s back. Ryan wasn’t complicated. Dallon liked not complicated. 

 

He booted up Skype and then waited for Spencer and Linda to both post themselves as online before hitting the call button. He’d never called them both before. Usually, when they Skyped it was because Dallon was on tour with Panic! and Spencer and Linda missed him. Or it was because Linda was out of town on a business thing, and Spencer invited Dallon to sit next to him when he called her. 

 

It was never like this, where all three of them were in different places and they were all collectively deciding to Skype. Dallon didn’t know how he felt. 

 

He took a deep breath. “I’m reading too far into this.”

 

“You’re really not,” Ryan said drily. 

 

He didn’t say anything else, because Linda started the call and her and Spencer’s faces appeared on Dallon’s screen. Two seperate boxes, one in Los Angeles and the other in Virginia. It felt like a long distance relationship, even though Dallon knew it wasn’t. 

 

“Hey Dal,” Linda said. “How was the show?”

 

“Great,” Dallon said, because he didn’t want to talk about how he felt like everything was going to implode on him at any given moment. “How’s it without us?”

 

“Quiet,” Linda said. “I miss you two.”

 

“Same,” Spencer said. He ran his hands through his hair. He was clearly on a tour bus, in the lounge, but Dallon couldn’t see any of Fall Out Boy around him. “I love this, but sometimes I wish I could get on the bus or the hotel room or whatever and curl up next to someone.”

 

Ryan made a pointed face at Dallon from the other bed. Dallon acted like he had no idea what his friend was doing. He ran his hand through his hair. “Well, at least you’ll be back with Linda soon.”

 

“I get you first, though,” Linda said. 

 

“That’s not fair,” Spencer said, at the same time that Dallon blurted out, “it’s not the same thing.”

 

“It could be,” Spencer said. He shrugged. Dallon didn’t know how to respond to that. Instead of saying anything, he looked over at Linda’s face. She didn’t seem thrown by Spencer’s comment, but then again, she’d been dating him for years. They were married. If anyone was going to be used to Spencer’s dirty humour, it would be Linda. 

 

Dallon rubbed his face. “I’m not--no. I can’t--”

 

“You don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for,” Spencer said. His hand moved towards the screen, like he was about to reach out and squeeze Dallon’s arm before he realised that they were several states apart. 

 

“Yeah, Dal, there’s no pressure,” Linda said. “We can just hang out on the couch together and Spencer can use his own imagination.”

 

Spencer rolled his eyes. “Hey, come on. Don’t call me out like that.”

 

“You make it too easy,” Dallon said. He froze for a moment, thinking he’d crossed a line, but then Linda hid a snort-laugh in her sleeve and Spencer broke out into a grin. Dallon’s heart soared. He smiled. “But I’ll stick around. I don’t think I could find a better couple than you guys anyway.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment/kudos if you enjoyed!


	8. Linda

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes hello I still have depression. Also, I've decided that Linda Ignarro is a socialist in this AU and because I'm the only person writing for this ship no one can stop me.

Linda closed her laptop around midnight, which was three in the morning for both of her boys. She wasn’t worried about either of them, though. Dallon’s flight wasn’t until the next evening, so he could take a nap, and Spencer was still working underground with Pete. 

 

She ran her hands through her hair and headed to bed. She loved them both, but it was quiet alone, and she missed them more now than ever. 

 

Captain jumped up on the bed and looked down at Linda. She reached out and scratched between his ears. “Yeah, I know. I’m not Spencer. He and Dallon will be back soon, though, then you can have your dad time.”

 

The next few days went by slowly. Linda still had work, but it was different to come home to just the dogs and not her boys. She still called them, and Dallon still acted like he was a third wheel and not a part of them. That was normal. Linda liked having some sense of normal in her life. 

 

Dallon came back first. He was tired, but happy, and Linda could tell that IDK was doing wonders for him. Linda didn’t know if Dallon suffered from depression, and it wasn’t her job to ask if he wasn’t ready to share. The two of them spent a lot of time reading, listening to classic rock in the background, and hiking. It was still warm in LA. linda loved that. She’d never been a fan of the cold, and she couldn’t imagine how Dallon went back to SLC every holiday for his family. 

 

“You’re going back for Thanksgiving, right?” Linda asked. 

 

Dallon turned from where he was sauteeing some mushrooms and frowned. “Yeah. Why’re you asking?”

 

“You could spend it with Spencer and I,” Linda said. She shrugged. “My parents wanted to meet you anyway. They like you.”

 

“You’ve told them about me?” Dallon asked. “Why?”

 

“Why wouldn’t I?” Linda said. “You’re important to me, and to Spencer.”

 

Dallon made a  _ hmm _ noise and went back to the mushrooms. Linda let him. Dallon wasn’t the type of person who responded well to being pushed. Linda was good at pushing, at getting people to stretch past their comfort zones, but she couldn’t get Dallon to do that. Dallon seemed to know where he was in life, and he seemed to be okay with staying there even though he wasn’t happy with it. 

 

Linda loved him, but he was a pain in the ass sometimes. 

 

Dinner was good, but dinner was always good. Linda and Dallon ate at the table and Dallon messed around with a logo someone at Linda’s company had drawn up. 

 

“You’re talented,” Linda mused.

 

Dallon raised his eyebrows. “I’m really not. Just practice.”

 

“Well, you’re pretty damn practiced then,” she said, and smiled. Dallon smiled back, and Linda considered that a win. She propped her feet up on his legs, and Dallon let it happen. Linda counted that as a win. “Ever think about designing the IDK merchandise?”

 

“I don’t know,” Dallon said. 

 

“Why not?”

 

“I was never really good at marketing,” Dallon said. He shrugged. Linda refrained from rolling her eyes at him, because she’d seen his art before and she knew it was good. Dallon was just too used to people (Brendon) throwing him in the background. 

 

She poked his side with her foot. “That’s what I’m here for. I know how to market.”

 

“You’d turn this country into a socialist state if given the option,” Dallon said. He looked up at Linda through his hair, and for a second it felt like they were already dating and gently roasting each other. It felt normal, domestic. Linda wanted this forever with him and Spencer. 

 

“Yes,” Linda said. “But I’d make sure that artists were all paid what they were due.”

 

“You’re a goddess amongst women, Linda,” Dallon said. 

 

She smiled. “You don’t have to sweet talk me, babe. You’re already my trophy husband.”

 

“Yeah, right,” Dallon said. He let out a sigh and cracked his knuckles. “I should probably get plane tickets. For Thanksgiving.”

 

“Offer’s still on the table,” Linda said. She tapped his side again. She really wanted him to come home with her and Spencer for Thanksgiving. “We’d love to have you.”

 

“I don’t think… I couldn’t intrude on your family like that,” Dallon said. He picked up the pencil again, and Linda let it go. 

 

She didn’t bring up Thanksgiving again until Spencer got back from Fall Out Boy, and then it was two against one and Linda felt a little bad about using her husband to gang up on Dallon. It wasn’t peer pressure. It was the two of them confirming that they really did love him. There wasn’t a piece of paper to prove it, but Linda considered Dallon just as important to her as Spencer was. 

 

Linda’s parents were on board with it, of course. Linda wasn’t surprised. Her parents had loved Spencer; there was no reason they wouldn’t love Dallon as well. 

 

Spencer pulled Linda over so that her head was on his chest. He ran his fingers down through her hair. “How’re your parents?”

 

“Good,” Linda said. She closed her eyes. “We should probably tell Dallon he’s sleeping with us.”

 

“In the sex way or in the tired way?” 

 

Linda rolled her eyes, smiling against Spencer’s shirt. “Tired way. My parents only have a king in the guest room.”

 

“Well, at least we’ll all fit,” Spencer said. 

 

“He’s going to freak out,” Linda sai, quieter this time. She knew she couldn’t push Dallon. Dallon didn’t like being pushed, and he was still getting over some of the stupid shit Brendon had put him through. All Linda wanted was to have both of her boys together, but she was getting tired of waiting around. 

 

“Maybe we should…” Spencer trailed off. 

 

Linda sat up so that she could look at him. “Continue?”

 

Spencer took a deep breath. “Maybe we should tell him. Everything. Just say fuck it and be upfront and not try to be subtle.”

 

“What if he panics?” Linda asked. Dallon panicked and retreated back into himself every time they showed him more affection than normal. Linda couldn’t imagine how much they’d lose if she and Spencer pushed Dallon to confront his feelings before he was ready. 

 

“He won’t,” Spencer said. He took Linda’s hand in his own and kissed her ring. Linda laid her head back down again and thought about the future for a moment. She was a planner. Spencer didn’t plan. He did things, and then acted like he’d known what was happening the entire time. He was different with Pete and DCD2, though. It was like watching someone take over her husband’s body for a bit. 

 

Linda didn’t know if she was with her Spencer or with business Spencer. He felt like her Spencer. She knew her Spencer. 

 

“You’re sure?” She asked. 

 

“When am I ever sure?”

 

“Always,” Linda said. She smiled to herself. “You’re the reason I didn’t cry before my own wedding. You know what you’re doing, even if no one else does.”

 

“I love you,” Spencer said. “And I love Dallon, but sometimes you two are really, really bad at saying what you want.”

 

“That’s what you’re here for,” Linda said. 

 

She looked up at him again. Six years ago, Sarah had introduced the two of them, and Linda had fallen in love. Five years ago, Linda had sat down next to Dallon at Sarah’s wedding and fallen in love again. Linda didn’t know when, but she knew that she would have to send Sarah a huge bouquet of flowers as a thank you. Linda would never have found Spencer and Dallon if it weren’t for her. 

 

Linda was in love. Dallon didn’t know it yet, but he was at home with her and Spencer, and with their extended families. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment/kudos if you enjoyed!!


	9. Spencer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a short update, but its here, so please enjoy!

Linda’s parents had a house up the coast of California. It was three beds, three baths, and no one had mentioned that to Dallon for some reason. Spencer figured it wouldn’t be an issue, since they’d shared beds before and both of the guest beds were king sized. All three of them could fit. It would be fine. 

 

“My sister and her husband and son are already there,” Linda said. She and Dallon were in the backseat, with Spencer and the stack of pies up front. The pies were strapped in. Spencer could only hope that Linda and Dallon were as well. 

 

“How old is he, again?” Spencer asked. 

 

Linda rolled her eyes. “No, you cannot swear in front of our nephew.”

 

“Didn’t answer my question.”

 

“I think he’s three?” Dallon piped up. Linda nodded. Spencer liked that Dallon knew that. He wasn’t even officially married into the Ignarro family and he knew how old his nephew was. Spencer was proud of him. Linda’s parents were definitely going to love him. 

 

“Sounds about right,” Spencer said. “Which means he won’t remember if I swear in front of him. Kids are like trampolines when they’re small. Nothing sticks to them.”

 

“Pretty sure you can stick things to trampolines,” Linda said. 

 

“Leave me and my metaphors alone,” Spencer said. He turned off the highway and headed up into the mountains where Linda’s parents lived. It was a very pretty area, but Spencer couldn’t imagine himself living that far away from LA. He was so used to the big city; it was all he knew any more. He’d grown up in Vegas, which was kind of huge, and then he’d moved to LA, which was even bigger. Spencer didn’t know what he’d do with extra space. 

 

“Oh, wow,” Dallon breathed out. “This is gorgeous.”

 

“Yeah. I’ve considered moving out from LA, but Spencer’s not up for it,” Linda said. 

 

“Hey,” Spencer said. “I never said that. I just said I liked the city.”

 

“Sure,” Linda said. 

 

Dallon let out a laugh. His attention was on the scenery, though. All of the houses up here were individual. There was no pattern, or neighbourhood laws to make them all come from a cookie cutter. Spencer could understand why Linda’s parents wanted to retire here, and why they couldn’t see themselves in LA. They were very much a couple of free spirits. 

 

“Oh, fair warning, my family doesn’t really do the whole Thanksgiving thing,” Linda said as Spencer turned onto the next street. 

 

Dallon frowned. “What?”

 

“They’re aware of the history of the holiday, so what we usually end up doing is eating together and then going down and cooking for homeless people,” Linda said. “During my freshman year of high school, my parents, my sister, and I all went to a protest in San Jose to allow immigrants to stay in the states. That might also happen.”

 

“That’s… definitely not how my family does Thanksgiving,” Dallon said. 

 

“Mine either,” Spencer said. “But this is kind of nice, because at least we’re doing something and not living off of turkey for a week.”

 

“I never stay at home long enough for leftovers,” Dallon said. There was a sad look on his face. Spencer wondered how Dallon’s relationship with his parents really was. To them, he was thirty-seven, unmarried, and had kind of been fired from his last job. Spencer didn’t know if Dallon’s parents knew he was bi, or if they were okay with it. 

 

Spencer frowned and pulled into the driveway. Linda’s mom was up on the roof, hammering away. She paused when she recognised the car and waved down at them. Spencer turned the car off and waved back. “That’s Adele. Her dad’s probably doing something inside.”

 

“Why’s she on the roof?” Dallon asked as the three of them got out of the car.

 

Linda shrugged. “It happens.”

 

“Huh.”

 

“I told you about how both my parents helped tear down the Berlin wall, right?” Linda said. “They haven’t really stopped since then. One day they’re gonna be in their nineties and marching through Washington for people’s rights.”

 

“I’m assuming you’ll be with them?” Dallon asked. 

 

Linda nodded and handed Spencer the stack of pies. “Obviously. Hopefully you two will be there as well.”

 

Dallon nodded back and then disappeared to the trunk to grab his suitcase. Spencer peered at Linda over the food. She still hadn’t told him about the bed situation. Spencer was going to let Linda choose how to do that, because it was her family and he and Dallon were both guests in this situation. Linda could handle it. She was smart. 

 

“Spencer! Linda! How have you two been?” Adele said. She was wearing a tattered t-shirt over overalls and her hair was tied up in a half-destroyed ponytail. Very different from Spencer’s mom, but still awesome. 

 

“Great!” Spencer said. “We brought pie and Dallon.”

 

“Oh, good, I’ve been waiting to see him,” Adele said. She squeezed Spencer’s shoulder since his hands were full. “Where’d you put him?”

 

“Dallon?” Spencer called out. Dallon’s head popped out from around the back of the car. Spencer gestured his elbow towards him. “Adele, that’s Dallon. Dallon, this is Adele.”

 

“Hi,” Dallon said. He was cute when he was shy. He came out from behind the car and gave Linda’s mom a hug, and then stole a few things from Linda so that he wasn’t just standing there. Spencer shook his head at Dallon, and Dallon made a face back when Adele’s head was turned. He frowned. “Shut up. You’re her son in law, you don’t have to make a good impression.”

 

“She’d have kicked my ass already, is what you’re saying?” Spencer asked. 

 

“ _ Yes, _ ” Dallon hissed. 

 

The three of them made it into the house, following Adele. Everything was set up for Christmas, not Thanksgiving. That was another thing the Ignarros did. They ignored Thanksgiving, instead choosing to put up Christmas decorations as soon as November struck. Spencer didn’t know how he felt about it, but the red and silver decorations fit into the rest of the house well. 

 

“Dad! We’re here!” Linda called out to the house. “I brought Dallon!”

 

“Oh, yay!” a man’s voice called back. Linda’s dad, Tony, appeared from the living room with a strand of garland around his shoulders. He shook it off and came over to take the pies out of Spencer and Dallon’s hands. “Nice to meet you, finally. I was convinced that Spencer and Linda had made you up.”

 

“Well, uh, they didn’t,” Dallon said. He was so awkward. He didn’t know what to do with his hands and Spencer almost reached out to just take Dallon’s hand. He didn’t, though. That would make Dallon more nervous and Spencer didn’t want to do that. 

 

“I’m glad they didn’t,” Tony said, and clapped Dallon on the shoulder. “You’re the perfect third angle to their triangle, at least from what I’ve heard.”

 

Dallon looked over at Linda, but she feigned innocence. 

 

Spencer cleared his throat. “Should we… should we go upstairs, unload our stuff?”

 

“Oh, yeah, go do that,” Tony said, patting Spencer’s shoulder as well. “Adele and I have everything covered down here. You three go up and relax for a bit.”

 

“Where am I staying?” Dallon asked. 

 

Adele and Tony looked at him like he’d spoken a foreign language for a moment. Adele frowned. “With Spencer and Linda, honey. Where else would we put you?”

 

Dallon swallowed. “What?”

 

“There’re only three bedrooms,” Linda said. She was smiling the way she always did when something went well at work. It was a victory smile. Spencer loved her. She leaned across Spencer and kissed Dallon on the cheek. “Don’t worry, it’s a king size bed. There’ll be plenty of room for all three of us. It’ll be just like a sleepover.”

 

Dallon looked over at Spencer, as though he somehow expected Spencer to bail him out of this. 

 

Spencer shrugged. “Always been a fan of sleepovers.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment/kudos if you liked it!


	10. Dallon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things happen in this chapter. It be like that sometimes.

There was nervousness, and then there spending the holidays with a married couple and the wife's family. Oh, and Linda’s sister and brother-in-law also seemed to think that Dallon was married to Linda and Spencer somehow. 

 

It didn’t make sense. Dallon didn’t like things like this, especially when he couldn’t figure things out. He knew that Thanksgiving was supposed to be about family, and that he didn’t really have one since his parents weren’t huge fans of the bisexual failing musician career path he was on. He knew that Spencer and Linda cared about him, but he was just a friend. He wasn’t any more important to them than Sarah or Brendon was, but they’d never brought Sarah and Brendon home for the holidays. 

 

Dallon didn’t get why he was so special. There was nothing about him that made him special. He was just the guy who’d moved in with them and then never moved out when they got married. 

 

Dallon pressed his face further into his palms. He was hiding in the bathroom, pants down, and he was trying not to cry or scream or do anything that would get someone’s attention.

 

He couldn’t stay here forever. People would ask questions if he spent the next three days in the downstairs hall bathroom. 

 

Dallon looked up and caught his reflection in the mirror. He looked tired, and stressed, and like a middle aged dude who should have already gotten married. He was too old to still be crushing on someone unattainable, let alone two someones who were unattainable. 

 

“I’m really pathetic,” Dallon whispered to his hands. “Really.”

 

There was a knock on the door, and Dallon froze.  _ Don’t be anyone in this house, please. Just be a murderer, I can deal with a murderer. _

 

A second knock, followed by a small voice saying, “can I poop please?”

 

“Alex, that’s not how you ask,” Linda’s sister called out from down the hall. 

 

“Sorry,” Alex said. He knocked again. “Hi. May I please use the bathroom please?”

 

“...one second,” Dallon said. He looked at himself in the mirror again. He was getting forced out of the bathroom by a three year old. This was his life, these were his choices, and he understood exactly why his mother wasn’t proud of him. There was nothing left to be proud of. 

 

Dallon flushed the toilet and pulled up his pants before washing his hands. He resisted the growing urge to press his forehead to the mirror and just stay there while the water ran over his hands. That wasn’t the kind of guy he was. Sure, he was a mess and a disappointment, but he was still a grown man and he was above angsting over things in the bathroom. That was for teenagers and Brendon Urie, who was a teenager in every way but age. 

 

He opened the door and traded places with Alex. Alex was lucky: he had two parents who were super cool and had already explained the whole gay/bi/straight thing to him, and he got to have his Christmas presents early. 

 

Dallon didn’t know what kind of guy Alex would grow up to be, but he knew he’d make his parents proud of him. Alex was a cute kid. 

 

“You were in there for a while,” Spencer said under his breath. He lifted a hand and pressed the back of it to Dallon’s forehead. “You okay?”

 

“Yeah,” Dallon lied. “Just lost in my thoughts.”

 

“Well, find a map, man, because we’re making hand turkeys when Alex gets out of the bathroom.”

 

“Seriously?” Dallon asked. Sure enough, there were craft supplies spread out over the table. Linda and her dad had already started on one of their own, combining their hands to make a giant monstrosity of a turkey. Spencer had acquired a glue stick and was spinning it around on the kitchen table. 

 

Dallon swallowed. This. This was what family was supposed to feel like. Suddenly it didn’t matter that he was only Linda and Spencer’s friend; he was a part of them and he was allowed to be here. He got to make crafts with Linda’s cousin and later they’d probably set up the fake Christmas tree that hung out in the living room until it was late enough in the season that Linda’s parents could get a real tree. 

 

“You’re sure you’re okay?” Spencer said, tapping Dallon with the glue stick. 

 

Dallon nodded. “Yeah.”

 

This time he wasn’t lying. He was okay. Not perfect, but okay, and that counted for something. 

 

The rest of the evening flew by. Alex loved the crafts, and he also loved “helping” Linda’s parents with the dinner preparations. Dallon filtered between the kitchen and the living room, not sure if he was supposed to help out or not. Adele kept kicking him out when he was in the kitchen for too long. He was getting a lot of mixed messages. 

 

Alex went to bed first, along with his dad. Tony was next, and Adele followed him soon after. Linda’s sister looked between the other three and then muttered some excuse about her son needing both his parents. 

 

Spencer turned to Linda. “She thinks we’re going to fuck on the couch.”

 

“Oh my God,” Linda said, burying her face into her hands. “My sister does not think we’re going to fuck on my parents  _ couch _ .”

 

“We’ve done it before.”

 

“ _ Once _ ,” Linda said. 

 

Dallon knew his face was red. He wasn’t sure what to do right now, considering he wasn’t dating them and they didn’t seem to realise he was still in the room. Dallon swallowed. “Um. Should I--I’m gonna go upstairs. And sleep.”

 

“I’ll come with you,” Linda said. 

 

Dallon paused.

 

Linda stood up and looked down at Dallon. She put her hand on her hip. “Are you coming or…?”

 

Dallon looked over at Spencer. Not that Spencer was going to be very helpful, since he tended to egg on whatever social experiment Linda was leading. Spencer only shrugged at Dallon, like he didn’t see anything weird about his wife going upstairs with a different man. Dallon wanted to scream, but he didn’t, because he was a grown ass man and therefore screaming was not allowed. 

 

He got up, and followed Linda. He didn’t have much of a choice, and he figured that if things got weird he could just pretend he was tired and go to sleep. 

 

Dallon froze on the stairs. “Wait.”

 

Linda turned around and looked at him.

 

He swallowed. “Where, uh, where am I sleeping? Which room?”

 

“Ours,” Linda said, like that was a normal response. 

 

Dallon shook his head. “I can’t do that. You guys--I’m intruding on your time already, and I can’t share a room with you too--”

 

“Dallon.”

 

Dallon looked up. Linda was right there in front of him, at eye level now that there was a single step between them. Her hair was falling lightly over her shoulder and her eyes were brown in the dim light. Linda reached out and tipped Dallon’s head back so that he had no other choice but to look at her. “Dallon, we want you in our life. Both of us.”

 

Dallon opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Instead, Linda covered his mouth with hers, sealing them both into a kiss. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment/kudos if you enjoyed!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, kiddos, we've come to the end of the line. thanks for putting up with my weird ass rarepair, and for giving this story a chance. I wrote it without knowing where I was going with it, so hopefully this feels like a worthwhile conclusion.

Linda hadn’t meant to kiss Dallon. She and Spencer had agreed that when they finally sat down and explained everything to Dallon, that they’d do it together. She’d fucked up, and she didn’t have a plan for this. Linda wasn’t good at acting on the spot. That was Spencer’s thing. He’d grown up with somewhat over protective parents and his best friend had had an abusive parent, and Spencer was naturally good at talking his way out of stuff. 

 

Linda was a planner. This wasn’t part of the plan. 

 

Linda didn’t know what to do now, now that she’d finally kissed Dallon and he was staring at her, shell-shocked. This was something she and Spencer had wanted to do for  _ years _ , and they’d planned out how they were going to do it and how they were going to make it perfect and sweet and romantic. 

 

And then it wasn’t. Because Linda had kissed Dallon without thinking about it, and he was looking at her like he was hoping for a way out. 

 

“Sorry,” Linda whispered. Not for kissing him, but for how it happened. 

 

“I have to go,” Dallon said, and then he went. He turned and flew down the stairs, his socked feet louder than they should have been against the carpet. He wasn’t running, but he was moving with a purpose. 

 

Linda let him. It wasn’t that she wanted Dallon to leave, but she was so startled by her own actions that she didn’t know what to do about his. She felt like her brain had left her body for a moment and gone on vacation to Arizona while Dallon left. She could have said something to stop him, or at least make him pause, but her body was left to its own devices and Linda was not good at acting on the spot. 

 

Linda had no idea what to do in this situation. This wasn’t going according to plan. Linda wasn’t sure if there was really a plan left to be going by. 

 

Slowly, she descended the stairs herself. Her hands were shaking, either from nervousness or because she was about to cry. This felt like rejection. It felt like preparing for a presentation only to realise that she’d misinterpreted the topic and now she was going to embarrass herself in front of her peers. 

 

Linda didn’t like this. She felt like her world was dropping out from under her. She shook her head. Find Spencer, tell Spencer what the fuck just happened, figure out what to do from here. Linda could be practical. Linda  _ was _ practical. She’d just slipped up and now she and Spencer were going to solve this. 

 

Dallon and Spencer were in the living room when Linda joined them. Spencer was standing, blocking Dallon’s way out, and Dallon still looked trapped. Linda bit her lip. Maybe the two of them had been going at this the wrong way all along. They should have just told Dallon from the start how they felt about him. Not in a subtle way, not jokingly, but seriously. Linda and Spencer had waited six years, and for what? Because they didn’t know how to explain things? That was a stupid reason. 

 

“Dallon,” Linda said. “I’m sorry, I should have explained things better.”

 

“I don’t know what you two want from me,” Dallon said, looking between the two of them. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

 

“I don’t know,” Linda said. 

 

“We’re saying something now,” Spencer said. He moved around so that he was standing in front of Dallon. “Look. Dal. You’re one of my best friends, and I love you. And if you don’t want to try this, I get it. Linda and I fucked up, and we weren’t direct, and that’s on us. But if you do want to try things, if you want to maybe actually date us, then… we like you. In a gay and straight way.”

 

Linda pressed her hands to her face. It was genuine in the only way Spencer knew how to be genuine. 

 

Dalon nodded slowly. “Yeah. Okay. But I have a request.”

 

“Go for it,” Spencer said. 

 

“When you guys want something, from me or otherwise, can you just ask?” Dallon said. “No bullshit, no weird courting rituals, just… ask. We’re adults here. Two of us are married. We can act like it.”

 

“We can do that,” Linda said. 

 

She walked over to stand next to Spencer and Dallon. She glanced over at Spencer. “Have you asked him out yet, or…?”

 

“Not officially,” Spencer said, and then, to Dallon, “wanna be our boyfriend?”

 

“Maybe?” Dallon said. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He still looked ruffled. Linda knew it was mostly her fault, but at least things weren’t ruined. Dallon wasn’t calling a cab back to Los Angeles or planning to move all the way back to Salt Lake City to get away from her and Spencer. Things were okay. Things could be okay. There was a coming back from all of this. 

 

Dallon looked back at the two of them. “What does being your boyfriend mean? Am I publicly dating you guys, or are we keeping this under wraps, or what?”

 

“Whatever you’re comfortable with,” Linda said. “I’m fine with being public about being poly, as is Spencer, but of the three of us you’re the most visible. If you don’t want to make it public then we won’t either.”

 

“Let me think about it,” Dallon said. “For now, I think we should keep quiet about it. You can tell your parents if you want, but I don’t know how open I want to be yet. People don’t even know that Spencer and I are bi. I don’t want to throw too much out at once.”

 

“That makes sense,” Spencer said. He glanced over at Linda for a moment before looking back at Dallon. “And you know that Linda’s bi too, right? None of us are really straight.”

 

“I know, but the world won’t see that,” Dallon said. He sighed. “I know that it doesn’t really matter what people think of us, or how they interpret our relationship, but it matters on some level. We still have to deal with gross twitter and instagram comments.”

 

“Tell me about it,” Linda said. For the most part, she’d been able to avoid rude comments, but there were some people out there who just wanted to pick a fight. Sarah got the worst of it, though. She was married to Brendon, and that was a crime in some fans’ minds. Linda remembered how Sarah had called her, holding back tears, to explain how someone had stalked her and Brendon, hacked her accounts, and that she was afraid to be home alone anymore because she didn’t know who to trust. 

 

Fans could be terrible. Linda didn’t want to force Dallon to do anything he wasn’t comfortable with. 

 

The three of them eventually went upstairs. They changed into their pajamas, not looking at each other but also not  _ not _ looking. It was new, and weird, but it was also oddly comforting. Dallon was with Linda and Spencer now, in a way he hadn’t been before. 

 

Linda ended up in the middle. Dallon turned away from her, so she rolled her eyes and turned around so that she was spooning him. She tapped his shoulder. “You okay with me putting my arm over you?”

 

“Sure,” Dallon said. 

 

“Dallon’s the little spoon,” Spencer said, and buried his face into Linda’s back. “I love it.”

 

“Does that mean Linda’s the medium spoon?” Dallon said. He shifted, turning slightly onto his back so that he could see the other two in the dark. “Is there such a thing as a middle spoon?”

 

“I’m a fork,” Linda said. She poked Dallon’s chest. “Now go to bed.”

 

Dallon laughed and Spencer let out a huff of amusement against her shoulders. Linda smiled to herself. Crisis averted. Things weren’t back to normal yet, but that was okay. They were all figuring out a new normal. That was part of a relationship. Things changed with time, and being in love and being committed to each other meant adapting to new things. Linda couldn’t imagine having the same dynamic with Spencer now that she’d had when she first met him. They’d both matured. She, Spencer, and Dallon would mature together as well, except now they’d be doing it with each other’s support. 

 

Linda smiled to herself. Now she could get some rest. They’d figure the rest out in the morning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment/kudos if you enjoyed!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment/kudos if you enjoyed!


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